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Thursday, 24 October 2013

"Hashtags"

Warning. The following rant contains bad language, violence and may cause viewer to have nightmares for the next 24 hours. No pressure. 

You've all seen it. That stupid little sign. "#" Ugh. And if you've been living under a rock, you've escaped lightly - lucky shit.

This annoying little sign, which I wish to murder in cold blood with a butchers' knife is on "Instagram" mostly. Now, let me explain my opinion of these two popular social networks: 

Instagram, otherwise known as "photography wannabes" is a phone app created for Apple, made for people less blessed with how to work a camera. See, the lens faces the thing you're wanting to take a picture of. For example:
an interesting or rare tree, your family next to a famous celebrity or when you're making a scrapbook. This does not include:
Your breakfast
A deck chair with a black and white filter to make you look "amazing" at this so called "photography"
"Selfies" with you attempting to look presentable, when really you look like some bird eat a rainbow or something two days prior and it didn't agree with their digestive system. And then you were beneath it as the accident occurred. Blue eyeshadow, clumpy black mascara, bright red lips and dyed blonde hair really doesn't look great on some people - especially when they looked like a mouldy orange exploded on them (apparently I've been told it's called "fake tan" or "make-up" also?!)

*attempts to compose with calming breath*
*visions of knocking on their door with a shotgun blur and disappear*

Hope you all enjoyed my rant, let me know in the comments if anything annoys you on the Internet!! 

Eg: adverts on YouTube (how I hate these also). Yes you can use this, and if you're still reading type "hashtag ironic YOLO" so I can fan you!!!! 

'Cause I follow no-one just yet on here.

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